It’s been a while. Ever since some asshole in China ate a bat resulting in the postponement of all major sports, my brain has been in a pretzel. Not having an entertaining vice to incinerate money is a fate I would not wish even on the guy fucking my ex-girlfriend. Luckily for us, while games have not been played, the NFL has continued their offseason of free agency, the draft, and most recently releasing the 2020 schedule. Sportsbooks have released future odds on the 2020 season, and below I have listed several arbitrages in the market.
Denver Broncos: Over 7.5 wins, Win AFC West 10/1, Win SB 50/1
Yes, I am quite bullish on the Broncos this year, but before you call me crazy hear me out. Every year in the NFL, there is a team that makes a huge leap. Last year it was the 49ers who jumped from 4-12 to 13-3. I bought their SB odds at 45/1 before last season (not to brag), and this year I am taking the Broncos to make that leap. Last season the Broncos went 5-11, but five of those losses came in one-possession games that could have easily swung the other direction.
While Drew Lock might lack an elite QB face, he sure as hell has an elite NFL QB caliber Girlfriend.
While Drew hasn’t fully proven himself on the field, he certainly has proven himself in the bedroom, and that is a QB I can put my money behind. Taking a deeper dive into the Broncos personnel, they have a lethal backfield in Melvin Gordon and Phillip Lindsay who will provide a great 1-2 punch. They also have emerging superstar wide receiver Courtland Sutton and a stud rookie WR in Jerry Jeudy. One defense it just gets better. Coach Vic Fangio was the genius behind the 49ers defense in the early 2010s and the Bears defense in 2018. Fangio has two elite pass rushers in Bradley Chubb and Von Miller that will allow his scheme in the secondary to play aggressive.
Over 7.5 wins for this team is a lay-up. I know the Chiefs are heavily favored to win the ACF West, but anything can happen on the gridiron, betting them 10/1 to win the conference is value like you read about. And if you’re not willing to bet a 50/1 team to win the Superbowl grow a dick.
NY Jets: Over 6.5 Wins
Look, the Jets won 7 games last year with a kissing addicted QB who was sidelined for six games with mono and the worst offensive line in the league. They have significantly improved their defense this offseason and entering his 3rd year its time for Sammy D to quit kissing college chicks and win some NFL football games.
Carolina Panthers: Over 5.5 Wins
These cuckfucks killed me last year. I had them over 7.5 wins, and after rattling off five wins in the first half of the year, they lost their last eight games—fucking brutal. Anyways, with such a low total this year, I can easily see them getting to 6 wins. They have added depth at the WR position, had a sneaky good defensive draft, and with a running back as handsome as Christian McCaffrey he alone could lead them to 6 or 7 wins.
Tennessee Titans: Under 8.5 Wins
Total square move, but this is my only under that my arbitrage algorithm highlighted. Classic law of buy low, sell high. Last year, I was all over the Titans playoffs run, but this year I don’t see that recipe of giving Derrick Henry the rock 50 times a game getting them to 9 wins. Tannehill has a solid QB face, but I’ve noticed he has some severe balding on the top of his head. Unless he gets himself treated with For Hims, Keeps, or opts for some platelet-rich-plasma therapy to address his male pattern baldness, I don’t foresee them winning more than eight games.
Minnesota Vikings: Over 8.5 Wins
There is no denying Kirk Cousins is a grade-A cuckold. That said you cannot dispute the kid wins football games against shitty teams. With the talent surrounding him, they’re a 9- 10 win team this year.
Jesus Hussien I am excited for the NFL season. Covid-19 has already taken March Madness, the NBA playoffs, and the NHL playoffs. If the NFL season is its next victim, I don’t think I’ll survive. Good vibes and positives thoughts, we will get through this and come out stronger than ever! ❤
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