Brutal week 12 for the Volk Report, but that’s how it goes in this league. This is not an easy league to win in. While I have not seen the board well as of late, neither is the public. Yesterday, on Thursday night football 68% of public money was on the Saints, which was squandered by that scumbag Zeke and their defense. I think the Cowboys stink. They have a good defense and whatever, but Dak Prescott shouldn’t even be allowed in the NFL. All the guy does is dink and dak throwing the ball five to ten yards laterally. However, after winning last night, that thief is going to steal $100 million from Jerry Jones and the Cowboys. HA! Goodluck Jearbear.
As you can tell I was on the wrong side of Thursday night, but I’m gonna be doing all the fucking around here come Sunday.
Arizona Cardinals vs. Green Bay (-14)
Last chance for the Packers to make it to the playoffs. If they don’t win this game by 100 points, their season is over. That baaad man Rodgers is going to go on a sybaritic tear through the NFL. Every season it seems Rodgers needs to win out to make the playoffs and every year down to the last week of the season he does it to make the playoffs. The Cardinals sucks, Josh Rosen and his massive schnoz sucks and in 36-degree snowy weather in Green Bay on Sunday; I don’t see a scenario where the Cardinals even get in the end zone. Packers 28- Cardinals 0, book it.
Baltimore Ravens vs. Atlanta Falcons (+1.5)
Lamar Jackson stinks, he’s a poor man’s Michael Vick, and that will be displayed this week. Congrats to Lamar on 77 rush yards, 178 yards passing for throwing 2 picks verse the shitstorm Raiders and 119 rushing yards and only 150 yards passing verse the Bengals. Yeah, he’s fun to watch, but he sucks eggs. Betting on Matty Ice or Michael Vick’s mentally struggling son is a no-brainer. At Atlant in practically a pick ’em spread, free money.
Los Angeles Rams vs. Detroit Lions (Over 55.5)
The Rams can’t stop scoring, and their defense is not the juggernaut we all thought they were going to be. Fifty-six points is a lot, and it’s going to take a good game from Matt Stafford as well, but you can get at least 30 from the Rams on an off day. Plus, Patty Statsford is the king of getting blown out yet still putting up top-notch numbers like 300 yards and 3 TD’s even though they are not in the game at all.
Tampa Bay Bucs vs. Carolina Panthers (-3)
Must win for the Panthers and I believe in Cam Newton and Christian McCaffrey. The Panthers have been playing poorly on the road this season, but they haven’t needed a win this badly all year. These guys are on a three-game skid, and if they don’t win this week, they are toast. Three points is not a lot to give in this slate. On the other side, the Bucs can’t beat anyone good. There only wins in the last six weeks is against the Cleveland Browns and SF 49ers, bums. Eat the points.
I love all these bets so plug these all in, but along with America, I am a total sucker for teasers. People say teasers are for rats and not profitable, but teasers drag me out of the gutter every night. So here are my mortal locks for some two team, three team, and four team special teasers
Two team: Seattle -4 and Rams -4
Three team: Cleveland +11.5, Minnesota +11, and New York Giants + 9.5
Four team Special 12 points: Colts +9, Panthers +10, Chiefs -1.5, and Broncos +7.5
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