God, I love Thanksgiving. In college, I had the whole week off to be home, stuff my face with gains, and lose my college allowance money on a surplus of football and college basketball games. Now, as an unsuccessful content blogger, I still get the week off to be home, but instead of losing my parents money this week I’m getting laid by my bookie this week.
After an unbelievable Monday night football game where my over hit midway through the 3rd quarter, I couldn’t sleep. I felt like a kid on his first sugar rush, except my sugar rush was mass points. If I could compress that game into powder, melt it down into liquid, and inject it into my veins, I would. As Barstool Big Cat famously said, “I want to fuck this game in the mouth.” And I couldn’t agree more, the NFL should literally have those two teams play each other every Monday night. I can’t think of anything else I would rather watch.
Besides Monday, my week 11 best bets went 4-1-1, so if you bet $1 million per unit, you would be positive 3 million dollars!!
Here my lead pipe locks for Thursday and Sunday, enjoy.
Chicago Bears vs. Detroit Lions (+3)
The Bears are coming off of a huge emotional Sunday night win against the Minnesota Viking and have to turn around and make the trip to Detroit 3 days later. On top of that their starting quarterback is hurt and will be relying on a quarterback that has been released seven times, had two career starts, and thrown 1 touchdown pass. Screw the points, take the Lions money line.
Atlanta Falcons vs. New Orleans Saints (-12.5)
According to The Action Network, taking the points and the Falcons are the value play this week. Their NFL power ranking spread sets the line at -10.1, instead of 12.5. Additionally, Since 2003, double-digit favorites in division games have gone 84-112-5 (43%) against the spread. Throw all that data out the window because the Saints are on a mission to ballisticate every NFL team standing in their way of the Super Bowl. Sean Payton doesn’t care if he is up 100 points, he is going to keep blitzing and going for it on fourth down until they destroy their opponents will to live. Also, there is just no way I am going to bet against the Saints again. I picked the Bengals over them two weeks ago thinking it was too many points and they won by 100. Drew Brees at home, book it.
Seattle Seahawks vs. Carolina Panthers (-3)
The Panthers have lost the past two games getting blown out in Pitsburg and going for two in the last minute in Detroit. However, Cam Newton and the Panthers are a different beast at home. They have won every game at home this season by an average of 9.8 points. This season Newton has been reluctant to run the football, but after suffering two horrible losses back to back, they are gonna need him to move the ball downfield with his legs. Although the Panthers deffense has been gashed the past two weeks, they have one of the best defensive front seven in the league, and I expect them to get back on track this week at home.
Buffalo Bills vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (-3)
The Rams and Chiefs combined for 14 touchdowns on Monday night, which is one more than the Bills have scored through ten games this season. While the BOAT has regressed from last season, the Jags are back to their power run game with Leonard Fournette. Contrary to my Saints pick, The Action Network’s power ratings spread is set at -4.1 for the Jags. After a tragic last-second loss to the Steelers last week you can count on the Jags deffense to be hungry come Sunday. Hammer the BOAT!
Arizona Cardinals vs. LA Chargers (-12)
For a quarterback who is supposed to be a lock for the hall of fame, Phillip Rivers conducted the worst clock management play of his career last weekend against the Broncos. If he had just taken a sack instead of throwing the ball away on their final drive, the Broncos would not have had enough time to score the game-winning field goal.
Regardless, the Arizona Cardinals suck eggs and lost to the Raiders last week. A team who has given up on their themselves. The Chargers have one of the best personnel in the league, while stupid mistakes and bad field goal kicking will ultimately prevent them from reaching the super bowl this year, they do have the offensive power to ballisticate a team like the Cardinals. Buy low on the Chargers.
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